My Dream Job

We've all heard the question:
If you won the lottery (or had millions of dollars or whatever) and did not have to work, what would you do? After you give your answer you are told, "then that's what you need to do." The problem with that is your dreams can be off. Perhaps you think you'd like to travel for a living. Well, let's see, how do we turn that into a career? Travel writer? Maybe you don't have writing skills. Perhaps you think you want to be on Broadway. Good luck with that. Less than 2% of professional union actors make a living as an actor. Of course, if your dream is to be a nurse, you probably will achieve your goal.

I had to be shown where I would truly find my fullfillment. If it were left up to me I would have chosen a completely self indulgent career. But through a series of unforseen events I find myself filling positions I never would have sought on my own. I had no desire to become a housekeeper, nanny, cook, chauffer or especially a teacher. I still wouldn't want to do any of these jobs for someone else. But add love to the equation and I am passionate about all of those roles.

No, it's not glamorous, yes it can be tedious, and when, oh when do I get a holiday?? Being a stay at home mother is all about attitude. I know women that do it very well but don't neccessarily want to do it. That makes for one unhappy Momma. And while I may not want to do it all day every day, most of the time I am doing exactly what I would be doing if I were a millionare. That feels pretty good. In fact, other than more vacations, I can't think of one thing that would change if we had more money.

Being content is priceless.

Are you done?

A lot of people say, "four kids, wow... are you done?"
And we say, "we'll see what God has in store for us."

Due to a family history of early menopause we don't know if I am able to have any more children. On the other hand, we know many people that have conceived while on birth control or even after having a vasectomy or tubal ligation. So to say that we have decided we will or will not have more children, well, that would be ridiculous.

I suppose a better question would be, "do you want more children?" Ahhh, that depends on the day you ask the question. (Ha-ha.) But really, I can say, I think we do.

Now ask me if I want to be pregnant again.

If I weren't overweight: yes.
If I could skip the first three months, the last month and transition during birth: yes.
But I know there is a way to get around that, through adoption.

I used to think adoption is a wonderful and noble thing; I just wasn't sure it's for me.
I thought you should really want it. Well, last week as I nursed my 6 week old I felt like I
really, really wanted it. I know it was the oxytocin. I know I have my hands full now. But I found myself talking myself into it, as in "everyone says adoption takes so long. If we start

the process now we could have a baby in 2 years. I'll still be lactating. It will be perfect."

I nonchalantly asked my husband, "would you ever adopt?" He responded, "maybe." Now that's the most positive response I've ever received from him on this subject. I prayed that if it's God's will my husband would have the same desire.

I have heard the emotional turmoil associated with adoption is much worse than the physical challenges connected with a physical pregnancy. But I am convinced that if I keep a "God is in control attitude" then all will be well.